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Of course, what strikes one person as interesting may not seem so to someone else.

I think it is reasonable to try to determine what is interesting to the other person; but it is not reasonable to submerge one’s own interests entirely.

These activities may be divided into different categories: Of course, if one of the two people have a favorite place, that would probably be a good place to go on a date since it will be endorsed enthusiastically by that person—and enthusiasm is always appealing.

Suggestions of what to do on a second or third date should not come exclusively from the man. What both men and women try to do during these first meetings is to convey something of themselves.

Another thinks, “I am strong.” Or “I am reliable,”—or kind, or thoughtful, or knowledgeable, or caring, or resourceful, or gracious, or any one or two of a number of different ways of being.

So, naturally, during these times when two people are talking to each other about everything, but especially about themselves, they are trying to paint that picture.

If someone is a great juggler, or a fine artist, or a good piano player, the other person is reduced to being a spectator rather than a partner in conversation. I remember dating a young woman who was plainly losing interest in me until I sat down at the piano.

But it is desirable to have an interesting background.It is natural if someone is really good at something, to try to show off a little.I think it is a good idea to try to restrain this impulse.Christopher Marlowe put it more strongly: “…whoever loved, that loved not at first sight?” Well, plenty of people; but on many occasions I have heard someone speak of meeting someone and then “talking half the night.” Even if that person is not speaking about love at first sight, something akin to that has happened.

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